For Today

For today I'm not going to be the victim; I'm not going to be the poor little abused wife left with nothing struggling to make ends meet.

For today I feel very optimistic about the upcoming year. I intend to practice not being so negative. I'm looking forward to a positive outcome with my divorce. Heck, I haven't been so happy in a long time so what am I griping about?

Horrified!

A few days ago at a Lyric League rehearsal we were asked to introduce ourselves and relate a few interesting facts so that the others could get to know us. I was about the last to speak so I tried to think of funny lines like telling people I had more grandchildren than they did. After the rehearsal Stacy asked me why didn't I mention that I did bears! I didn't, for once, even think about that. Every other get together I've been to that's about the only thing I've identified myself with. Was this a Freudian slip?; what could be really going on? I"m just going to forge ahead and get back to bearing--that's all there is to it!

I was definitely inspired while I was sitting in the gift shop at the Lyndon Arts Center on Saturday as part of my Visual Arts Guild membership. My bears were among all the other works of art.

Enough talk!

J.O.B.

If I had my druthers I would not have a job. I would stay home making bears; interacting with the community; and watching grandchildren. But that's not my real world. In my real world I haven't seemed to muster the discipline to stick to working on bears and even though there are not a lot of bills to be paid, they will be forthcoming I'm sure. Living on fumes isn't quite a comfortable situation but then my former living arrangements weren't that comfortable either.

But that's all too serious. Watching the family dog pretend to "bury" a bone in the couch is much more fun. She has the chewy in the corner of the couch and covering it with air dirt. Now she's captured it again and has whisked it away to greener territory. For all her opportunities she is a joy to see bounding after balls, etc. and it's cute to see how she has to be right in the thick of things.

On to a brighter day!

I'm In Love

This relationship has been going on since I was a young child. I've nurtured it; abandoned it; and, at times, cursed it. But today, I embraced it. I played the keyboard as usual but it was sounding kind of hoarse so I played around with a few buttons; nothing helped. But while looking around all those buttons I saw different settings (I previously ignored them because a piano is supposed to sound like a piano--that's it; besides I didn't want the jazzy undertones which I thought was the only thing it offered). Hmm, let's press the choir button. Hallelujah! I felt like I was accompanying a whole chorus. The next button was the brass button. Another amazing sound!! I'm pumped now with a total feeling of euphoria. Something I didn't feel when I "had" to practice; something I hope this will keep me practicing because I do love music SO much and it makes me feel SO good. Something like being in love.

There is a tiny drawback. Here I am on the computer looking for more sheet music and/or a keyboard of my own when I'm supposed to be doing other things. I vote for a longer day. Oh wait! Maybe I should just use the time I have better. Boy, is that another story!!

Happy New Year!

One thing that hasn't changed is I didn't stay up until midnight; close--11:00 p.m. I don't remember the last time I did. I didn't even wake up with the feeling that this is a new year; time to start over again. Now that I'm writing about it, I am getting that feeling of a year of new possibilities.

Stacy and I are organizing (mostly Stacy) and while it may not last; the feeling of being accomplished is still there. For me, the minute a new project starts organization flies out the window.

Let the new year begin!