A New Point of View

I had my second piano lesson tonight and did pretty well considering I missed three days of practice because I went to Nashville.

My teacher is great and was playing some ragtime when I got there. Something to shoot for. I do need to adjust my stereotypical thinking however. She's in several bands and to look at her you'd never know it. Like Stacy says, "everybody in Athens is in a band" so my "norm" doesn't even begin to fit.

I did notice how happy I was while walking home. Even though I have to practice scales this week. I guess it's the full-service lesson but why do I need to know what key a song is in; just playing it is fine with me.

I know, stop complaining.

Back to Real Life

I went to Nashville for a birthday weekend and had a great time with Debra doing girl things. Now, it's back to real life. My to-do list is long but for this week I'm going to concentrate on getting my writing done for the subRosa meeting next Monday; make an owl and a horse; and work on my website.

Oh, and if I have time (tee hee) continue to look for a job. I guess I'm really out of one now since it appears that the bakery is open and I haven't heard a word about working there.

Tomorrow I need to get some things over to the Lyndon House for their holiday display and I have my Fibercraft Guild meeting after lunch.

For now, it's time to stop writing here and get some of my new ideas down on paper for a story I'm working on.

Visions of Sugarplums

I don't know what's going through my head but here it is 1:30 a.m. and I'm on the computer. One would think I'd be tired after driving from Athens to Nashville today. Could be the fact that I'm having problems breathing with this stuffy nose.

Anyway, it promises to be a fun weekend. Even though my e-mail was misconstrued and apparently I wasn't expected.

Speaking of sugarplums--after bemoaning the fact that I hadn't even started my Christmas shopping and wondering if it would come and go before I had bought a single gift. I bought my first gift today. Plus I already have a birthday gift planned as well as a few more gifts in the works. So, I guess I'm better off than I thought.

Now if I could only get some sleep.

Scales

I never thought I'd hear myself say this but I'm even enjoying playing finger exercises (scales) when I practice. I think I've found a goal to my playing besides learning to play better. I'd like to play like my teacher. She can play anything from rag to classical.

Keeping my impatience in tow is a major priority since now that I've practiced for an hour or two I want to play like a concert pianist. Or, run out and get my own keyboard. Better just rein it in and keep practicing first.

Two Good Things

I had my first piano lesson in about 15 years tonight. I love the teacher and I think I will learn a lot from her. Maybe with maturity I'll stick to practicing and be able to play the music I love.

The second good thing was the lesson is within walking distance so I got exercise as well as some music.

Now it's on to finger exercises!

Who Says?

How come everybody seems to know what's right for me (not that they aren't right) but me?

Is it because I always seek everyone's advice instead of trusting my own? Do I have any advice?

It is good to get other people's input. They see you differently than one sees oneself.

Maybe I'll edit later; or not.

Under the Wire

If I don't hurry up and blog the day will be over and I will have slacked off on my thirty-day program.

I am encouraged and grateful tonight. Thankful to Stacy who is a major part of my support system and always seems to have some good answers and is there when I need her.

I am encouraged by the new friends I'm making. With the help of my writing friends I may very well get something published again. Don't look for me in the library but I have been in print.

I feel on the verge of an epiphany. I've had three memorable ones. Again, Stacy found a book for me at Goodwill "What Will I do With My Life" and it just may be another catalyst. I'd be more specific but it's just a feeling that I have.

Good things are happening!

Cut and Run

I'm not suggesting that in any way shape or form I ditched my last life because I couldn't hack it. I gave it the good old college try.

So, when the idea came to me the other day to move to another location because the job market doesn't seem to need my skills; I was kind of surprised. First of all, I would NEVER do it in a million years; and second of all, it wouldn't solve anything.

So, what's the answer to this dilemma? Human resources wheels move at a snail's pace, so I'm told. Now I'm going to try temporary agencies.

Ask Omar

The bakery might not have provided me with a large salary and I may have nibbled a little too much. But, it did provide a lot of running around and a walk to work when I didn't have errands to do. Now I'm left to my own devices about getting out there and exercising. I have taken Sally out on walks. So I'm not totally sedentary.

I got a look at myself on a video from the Halloween parade. Zowie! Have I found the ten pounds I lost!!! Today I was trying on clothes and while it looked like it I wasn't in a fun house in front of one of those funny mirrors.

I'm starting with some anorexia tomorrow!

One Little Thing

I had no intention of having a bad day when I woke up. It could have been anything that set me off but it was Jack not wanting me to say good morning to him that did it. I did try my darnedest to make things right.

All day I felt like a loser and tried to stay busy so I wouldn't think about it. I went for a walk to get the blood flow going and to get the cooties out of my booty. I tried to do a little writing but Harry Potter was a little loud. Of course had I been really inspired I don't think that would have bothered me anyway. Then I played the piano and things started to click. I thought of my upcoming lesson this week and what I would bring to play. I don't know what I hope to accomplish with lessons but I certainly enjoy music so being able to play it better would certainly be a plus.

I'm still stumped on dyeing some mohair. I can't for the life of me remember how I did a tea dying technique. I did work on a doll that I started several months ago and I got a magazine about purses. For whatever reason I'm stuck on those lately.

So, all in all, despite my trying to ruin my day I did pretty well. Tomorrow I'm going to intend to have a good day and not just let it happen.

Who Knew?

Who knew a year ago that I'd be walking down the street in a cat costume complete with makeup. Okay a few lines with an eyeliner pencil. Luckily it is Halloween and I think I could blend in with most of the crowd.

Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's been over a year since I've been in Georgia. I'm making great strides and garnering some good friends. Oh yes, by the way, I'm out of the rut I was in yesterday. I went to the library and worked some on my book/short story; got out of the house instead of being comfortable at home. That's saying something for me since it sometimes takes TNT to get me going.

Now back to handing out candy.

Might-y

When I tell people what I'm doing in my life they always comment on how busy I am. As happy as my life is I look back on it and see that the fundamental things about me haven't changed. I'm a planner but more often than not things get started and remain unfinished.

I was reading in a magazine this morning about women who take their small ideas and turn them into thriving companies. A tinge of jealousy emerged but also a what could I do like that? Maybe a heavy dose of confidence would spur me on. Maybe not leaving this computer on for long periods of time with the need to check it periodically would leave me time to come up with an idea. Maybe not watching the movies from Netflix the minute they arrive would free up some time. I've got a lot of irons in the fire but so far none of them have ignited.

Maybe not wallowing in what I haven't done and just get busy--ooh that word tripped a trigger. Busy doesn't always mean productive. Focus might be a better word.

Music Appreciation

I've started playing the piano again. Hopefully it will last for a while.

I noticed tonight that while I plunked away I wasn't getting all stressed out with the wrong notes I played. I just kept telling myself I haven't played these songs in a while and just take it slow. I do need a system for holding the music up so the pages aren't flapping around while I'm trying to play them.

I was also appreciating the fact that I was playing songs in the easy format instead of their original form.

I've come a long way.

Pounding the Sheets

Here I am poised to apply for a job. Am I in an office? Am I dressed appropriately? Not quite.

In today's world of modern technology I can search the Internet for positions that interest me from right here in my room.

Today I'm giving Craig's List a try. I was skeptical at first after reading an ad that only wanted someone who could last three months without any skills then they would have a job. I was also leery of telemarketing firms that disguised themselves trying to get people who wouldn't normally do so apply to their ads. I'm sure there are some legitimate companies and if it turns out that they're not I can always turn them down.

Civic Duty

Today I voted early. I know it would be more historic to actually vote on November 4 but who knows what will be going on in eight days. I thought by going at around 9:00 a.m. that I might miss the before work crowds. I drove to the Classic Center and the line was from here to Timbuktu so I drove to the actual voting place. It didn't look like there was a line but there was one inside. Since it's a little nippy out today it was nice to wait where there wasn't a wind chill factor. The whole process took about half an hour.

Puppy Love

This morning I was proud of Sally for letting me sleep until 7:00 a.m.; the midnight potty break had long been forgotten. It was strange though because even though the clock suggested that it was a lot later and the sun should at least be trying to show it's face; it was pitch black. Then it dawned on me that until the new rules were put into force that changed when daylight savings ended, today would have been the day to put the clocks back an hour.

As for puppy love, Sally is nestled next to me fast asleep on top of my bed while I blog. Yesterday I was sewing and she was playing with her toys right under the chair I was sitting in. Without Jack and Josie here for stimulation she was throwing her rubber chicken at me in hopes that I'd play for a while. Sally and I do enjoy a game of tug-of-war and catch on occasion.

Slip Sliding Away

I missed a day of my thirty day program. I guess that means I'll need to write twice today.

Taking Sally out for her morning constitutional is good inspiration to look at the leaves; note the weather; and otherwise get background for a story. It also makes me wish--at 5:45 a.m. that dogs could use toilets for something other than to drink out of--or heaven forbid, that maybe cleaning up a mess in the house isn't so bad. Outside is definitely preferable.

Quiet

As far as I'm concerned quiet is overrated. I guess with years of background noise from a TV I conditioned myself to only be able to accomplish a task if I had something else going on. On the other side of the coin, if I'm watching a movie etc. I'm rather mesmerized by that and don't concentrate on what I'm doing.

I could use the joyful noises of the family as an excuse. Heck, I could use anything! The only real thing between me and accomplishment is me.

The main thing I need is stimuli that inspires me. Like my writer's group; my new subscription to WEbook (a publishing website); and signing up for a writing seminar the first of the year.

For other inspiration I have the Visual Arts and Fibercraft Guilds at the Lyndon House.

Life is good; quiet or not.

Wednesday

Dogs are barking in the distance as I sit poised in front of my laptop. I am alone with my thoughts and wondering what the day will bring.

My horoscope says to get out and exercise because that will give me power over my life. Of course I only believe what it says when I think it fits the moment. If something happens that seems to directly relate to what the horoscope says; then I say it's right. It's just daily entertainment and not the gospel. If it were I'd be more of a worrier and counting on things that don't really matter.

I will walk today but I'll do it when I go to pick up Jack from school. A nice brisk walk in this beautiful Fall day would be a good thing.

Writer's Group

Last night I read the start of my "novel" to my writing group. I got mostly positive comments. Everybody really liked the first paragraph. Now I have lots of re-writing to do to get the rest up to snuff.

I feel I have some good feedback, especially from the woman who ran the group last night because she is having a middle grade children's novel published and working on her second one. Plus, she gave me a book on how to write books for children.

It was also pointed out that I just get so far with a story and then I'm on to something else. This is my chance to delve deeper and write more than four pages.

Twenty-Seven to Go

I've read that it takes 30 days to make a habit. I'm sure this is more than my second try at it but I'm attempting to make writing my goal.

I've started a lower-grade novel that I'm taking to my writer's group tonight for some helpful evaluation. My aim is not publishing this story but to get myself writing everyday and to write more than a page or two and think that I'm finished with a story. I hope it will also serve as a launching pad so that I can get other things in print.

Don't get me wrong, if this story gets published I would be ecstatic. I am no longer listening to my monkey mind which says I have nothing to write about.

Brrrr

What am I going to do when it really gets cold? It's just barely Fall and I'm already layering my clothes. Since the heat was on this morning I guess I'm not the only one. Of course there is a naked boy running around here which might explain it.

Today is a dog birthday party. Who would have thought? Sally and I are going to wish her best friends a happy birthday.

Happy Sunday!

A Cigarette and . . .

Any time I've seen writers in old movies they have a cigarette hanging out of their mouths, an old typewriter, and possibly two fingers worth of liquor. Since I'm not liquor literate I can't say what kind.

I don't smoke or drink and I haven't seen a typewriter in I don't know how long. Without a smoke-filled room, what will be my motivation.

I whine; I squirm; I think about buying how-to books to inspire me or tell me how to write. I can't say I don't know how to write because I've had people tell me they like my style--my sense of humor. Anything that makes it harder seems to be my motto. How about a Microsoft template to fill in the blanks?

There will never be a perfect situation for writing; always some disturbance or excuse. So as Stacy says, "just get a pencil and do it!"

Almost Three

Although Jack insists he's going to be two, today we celebrate his third birthday with his friends and their siblings.

He is totally a joy (I'm ignoring his terrible twos that will be over at about 5 a.m. on his birthday). I love when he uses his "daddy" voice; I love when he cuddles up to me and wants to be my best friend and playmate.

Yesterday he didn't feel like staying home so he asked me to take him to the bookstore (could it be that he thought he would get another car?). When I couldn't take him he asked his daddy to do it. I think there may be a lot of car seat switching in my future.

I'm totally excited about what being three will bring to the favorite man in my life.

Momentum

A new season for the ACS has started and there's an opportunity to try out for a quartet in one of the songs we're doing. Part of me wants to keep the momentum going after singing a solo this summer. I hear in the back of my head that I should not slide back into my old habits of being in the background. The other part of me says I've got lots to do and I should be concentrating on those things instead of adding more to an already full plate.

The alto part is very high and certainly would be a test of my vocal skills. Just singing the Rutter and the Hayden are challenging. I think I will be happy with that.

What's In A Name?

I'm going to get myself three names. I'm starting to hang out with writers who use their middle names and it sounds very impressive; like they know what they're writing about. In one case, it's very true.

I've also started searching for friends here in the south and a lot of them have three names. I feel a little naked only using two. Am I not as important as all those heavily monikered individuals?

My driver's license has three names (four actually if you count the use of my middle initial) so I must be really impressive. Or, if I was like the women on the soap operas I could use all my last names and have a whole string of them! Definitely not a goal of mine.

Or, I can be really mysterious and just use my first name. Cher and Madonna do it to name a few.

Last Chance

I thought I'd get in my last post of August.

My original post was going to be about Jack and Josie. Jack's definitely in the two-year old mode. I came into my room yesterday and he said, "you're nuts!". So I said, "you're right, I am nuts!". He then repeated it; so I repeated my statement. Then he got upset and said, "I don't want to be right!" I don't know if he was disappointed that he didn't get the right reaction from me or that he didn't want to have a Grammo that's headed for the looney bin.

Josie on the other hand is just blooming left and right. When you can get her away from Harry Potter she's making books. She now announced that she wants to be a writer when she grows up. Not wanting to give up her art; she also wants to be an illustrator. So, she came up with the term authorator (there must be some of them in the world since the spell check didn't catch it).

Today, not wanting to repeat the same stay at home all day time we had yesterday; we went to Memorial Park and their zoo. It's not the San Diego Zoo but it was a very nice site. There was a bear; deer; river otters; some birds of prey; an alligator; and a snake to name a few. Follow that up with McDonald's and Dairy Queen. And this is probably only big news to me but I saw Jamie Deen (Paula Deen's son) with his wife and son. I'm thinking they were in town for the big game yesterday.

Of course, back to Harry Potter.

When I Grow Up

I know I watch too much TV. Even though the cable was discontinued here I resorted to Netflix and the shows that air on my computer. That having been said, I do get little bright ideas from some of the shows.

From watching the really old shows I'm reminded how a lot of what I think sounds sane and has stood the test of time.

Today while watching Eli Stone (one of the "woo woo" shows as Stacy would say) I focused on Eli's assistant and it reminded me that that is what I want to be when I grow up. It's what I played as a kid; it's what I did when I worked before I retired; and what I'm striving for now.

Being in the bakery offered me flexibility to get my life in order. Some say that not having to dress up is a plus but I've always liked to.

I'd like to be one of those self-motivated people (and I am) but I need a structured system to do it in.

I've applied for several jobs but the one that's ringing my chime now is working in the mayor's office. It's part time which would allow me a steadier income as well as time to work on my creative pursuits. It sounds like the perfect job; here's to the county's human resources department agreeing with me.

Chapter Closed

Except for a few loose ends my former life is about over. Hooray! At times, I just want to crawl in a corner and not make any decisions because it seems like there are so many. But they are exciting ones. Which car? Which job? Which house? I know it will all turn out, I've just got to focus and take one thing at a time.

Right now I'm just going to take a deep breath; watch the Spiderwick Chronicles with my grandchildren and get right to it tomorrow.

Time

I don't have time for my life! But, on the other hand I've never had so much fun with my life.

I'm trying to decide if singing in two groups will allow me time to write and do my bears, as well as work. Since I haven't been writing as much lately (no deadline for my writing group until the end of June) it should be an easy decision.

Right now I'm just basking in the aura of a bear show before I delve into looking for more venues to sell my critters.

Decisions, decisions, how great!!

Mother's Rule

This picture of my mother's day present does not do it justice. I have admired the first picture Josie painted for her art class at the Lyndon House since she painted it. Much to my surprise I received it, framed no less. It is now proudly hanging above my bed where I can look at it every day.

It's such a wonderful thing to be a mother. Last week at choir practice Stacy mentioned that she had to keep me in line. The woman in front of us was surprised that I was Stacy's mom. She seemed much friendlier after that. I felt very proud that being the mother of such a talented and lovely person would elevate my stature in someone else's opinion. Although I didn't need that to feel proud.

Art 101

Art is a passion that feeds my soul. Something that brings me true joy.

Josie has a great talent for art. Whether it's writing or drawing there is definite potential. In fact it's more than potential it's a talent that just needs to grow and blossom. Of course you would expect me, as her grandmother, to have that opinion. Today it was validated during my time manning the gift shop at the Lyndon House Art Center.

I told Shannon, a staff member at the art center, that Josie really enjoyed the class she took there. Shannon asked me which one was Josie? I described her and Shannon started saying what wonderful art Josie had created and was amazed that Josie knew how to hold a brush just right. Shannon said that Josie and another girl were the best in the class and Josie definitely should have her art framed.

If I could get her first picture from the that class away from her mother I'd love to frame that!

Bakery Blues

I had a snappier title while I was laboring over a cake this morning but I think I sweated it out. I've been decorating cakes this week because Sandy's been out on a family emergency. I think I'm getting pretty good and if I could figure out how to get the picture of the carrot cake I decorated from my phone to my computer I could post it. I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination a professional but I'm passable.

We usually get in sheet cakes from a supplier but they weren't ordered so Tammy baked a cake in a large pan. I was to cut it in fourths and do a three layer because it was so thin. Sounds reasonable. I don't know what happened; I'll take some responsibility for my fledgling cake decorating skills but that cake was either not done or I don't know the reason. I tried to cut it in the desired rectangles but it was cracking and turning into paste so I did the best to frost it. I'd say frosting can cover up a multitude of sins but even the devil isn't that bad! Basically I ended up with frosted crumbs. I gave the cake the benefit of the doubt and decided to give up for the day and come in early the following morning. Before I left work I decided that my reputation as well as the bakery's was on the line and I couldn't in good conscious sell that cake so I decided to go to the grocery store, get cake mix and pans to re-do the cake.

I left at 6 a.m. the next morning and planned on being at the bakery for maybe an hour. Frosting the cake was somewhat troublesome since the layers weren't quite even but I managed to make it look a lot better than last night's fiasco. The cake was for a piano recital so I decided to make it musical. Well the black was like glue; or too thick; or I don't know and I had the darndest time trying to write with that pastry bag. I kept squeezing and squeezing trying to get an even black line to come out. There was black frosting everywhere! I ended up looking like little black Sambo. Finally I decided if I fooled with it anymore it would be overkill and moved on to the "flowers"; or you could say my impression of the flora. I was at least satisfied with my efforts and yesterday's pile of crumbs is a distant memory.

I enjoy decorating cakes and as I do more and more of them I'm learning a few tricks to success.

Lady in Waiting

It's funny, I've been waiting for the divorce to be final so I could move on with my life. Although I have this niggling feeling that I could walk away with nothing except giving Ken some of his own medicine. I couldn't rely on him when we were married so what makes me think I can start now?

I don't exactly know how I'll do it but I will. I am very grateful for all the help I've received throughout this process. I would have had a hard time doing it on my own so it's great to have such a wonderful support system.

Starving Artist to Frustrated Writer

To look at me you wouldn't think I had missed many meals. I am in the ranks of the millions of artists who think about making a living with their creativity. So, when the opportunity presented itself to join a mainly women's writing group, I jumped at the chance. Honing my "craft" is something I've tinkered with ever since grade school. Now I can put my money where my mouth pen is; get feedback from other writers; and maybe get something else published. Besides pictures of my bears I've had an editorial published in a local Wisconsin paper and edited two newsletters. I need to have up to ten pages ready for the group meeting on Monday night.

Backed Up

Since we were without Internet my blogs got a little backed up. What I'm about to say seems to negate what I said in the previous blog but while I'm having that experience it's good to be positive about it. Of course if you ask me after working 9+ hours I might have another opinion.

I am so grateful to be working at the bakery. I get to hear about people's lives and it's so interesting!

Today a little boy came in to get a chocolate filled donut because it was his 7th birthday. Later I was getting a bit frustrated with a man who seemed to take forever making his selection. I mean it's pastry not fine wine! After talking to him I discovered he had worked all night at Fed Ex and was on his way to a second job doing alterations for another eight hours. He was beading two dresses. He used to own his own tailor shop and hopes to leave Fed Ex at some point to re-open another one. By the careful way he picks out donuts I would say he's pretty good at tailoring and beading. So I felt a little bad about judging him so quickly. I would be moving just as slow if I had an hour's worth of sleep.

Lost in the Black Forest

Help! Where is my trail of crumbs to lead me out of the black forest?

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy my job and love the people I work with. However, it has consumed my life. Case in point; e-mail has become a communication tool because I'm never home.

A filler job so that I could make a go of my bear business is now full time. I know I agreed to working more hours. Wouldn't less hours and more pay be more advantageous?

I feel kind of stuck because until I go back for my final hearing I need to have flexible hours so that I can take off for a week at a time. On the other hand, I'd like to take weeks off at a time to go visit friends; go on vacation; and/or bear shows.

I'd better start pounding the pavement.

House Whine--Again

I'm sure I've broached this subject before so that's why I put again. I was feeling depressed about the part of my life that is almost the past and needed something to uplift me. When I stopped at Barnes & Noble I saw a new book called Stop Whining, Start Living. That helped me to remember what accomplishments I've made in the last few months. Today it started again and I couldn't remember the name of the book so I looked it up on Amazon. Apparently there is more than one on the subject and with about the same title. That kind of company I don't want to be in.

So, I did a lot of stuff I shouldn't have; maybe could have taken deals offered. But what happened, happened. Get over it and keep living!

Beans

This is not a story on how many beans I've eaten in the last few months. Although I have eaten more beans lately than I ever have in my entire life. For me the taste and texture is rather abhorrent. But, somehow they're not tasting so bad. Maybe the rinsing has something to do with it or making them from scratch is the key. Don't get me wrong, I won't become a card carrying bean eater any time soon but I will be more open minded.

The gist of my story was the chili Matt made for dinner last night. It was particularly good; I think the best he's ever made. I did, however, have very weird dreams. I married my brother (where his wife was I don't know) and after the ceremony realized I was still not divorced and would be a bigamist. It didn't seem to matter to my brother because he was off motorcycling with a friend. I was then taken to a Thanksgiving feast where an aunt had been up all night cooking three turkeys without stuffing. Then a group of friends and I went walking through road construction (I think it was a neighborhood where I grew up in) to a Baskin-Robbins' like place to buy a bunch of cookies. Those are all the major details I can remember.

I think I would prefer that beans just be a musical fruit and not a hallucinogen.

One Letter Off

It's amazing how you can wake up one morning; feel great and look forward to the day. In fact, the day can go very well even though you didn't do everything you had planned. Then a letter from your attorney arrives (however innocuous) and your world goes into a downward spiral.

When is my old life going to be over? I'm doing a lot of things and trying not to feel like I'm in limbo but with court proceedings still hanging in the balance it's hard to secure a final future. At this moment (and hopefully for not much longer) I feel like it will never end. I know this is all stinkin' thinkin' but this is the way I feel right now.

Maybe I should blog later.

Daily

I was at a meeting of the Athens Art Association the other night and during the business meeting they were discussing their new website. A lot of linking is good for business. The web designer was describing some of the website's features. Blogging was one of them; she said a blog is what you do every day to let people know what you are doing. Yikes!! This blog I'm better at updating than my bear one. I just thought I was doing well because I post more often than some blogs I read who haven't posted since last year. I'd better get cracking.

One reason for not posting as often is the fact that I've been working 9+ hours a day at the bakery. Mostly it's a lot of fun but long. Sandy's out for a few days and before she left I thought I'd try writing on some cookies that were ordered. Well, fun turned into writing on 300 tiny cookies. It also turned into "you can write, if anybody needs a cake while I'm gone you can do it". Okay, I was willing to give it a go. Sandy makes it look pretty easy. I practiced on some waxed paper and it didn't look too bad. The cake was passable Then we got an order for another cake and I accepted. Still it needed some more practice but it turned out. Two more cakes but this time I didn't need to do any writing on them. I was on a roll. It was really fun.

Blogs are nice but grandchildren in your bed early in the morning is MUCH better so I'll post again soon.

TGIW

I know it's supposed to be an "F" but I'm just glad it's the weekend. I've been living at the bakery the last couple of weeks and it's nice to just be home.

I started out the day manning the water table during the Race for Chase that was very expertly organized by Stacy. As far as I know everything went like clockwork; in fact the time just seemed to fly by and before I knew it the race was over. I was motivated by watching all those runners. After returning all the water paraphernalia I did a few errands and was back home in no time. While I was out I got the idea that it would be great to take Josie to see "Horton Hears a Who". I do have six bears to get ready for a class but what's more important. It seems that Josie and I don't get to spend much time together since I'm either working, etc. and Josie's home; or, Josie has school, violin, or friends to play with. It was a lot of fun and we discussed the movie and figured out our favorite parts and which characters we liked the best. We both liked the mayor.

In between the race and the movie I got some bearing done but the highlight was walking to the Grit to have brunch with the next door neighbors. I had these incredible raspberry pancakes with orange syrup. Well, the syrup was a little too puckery sweet for me. The company was great (even though Matt had to leave for some work-related stuff) and the weather was wonderful.

I did manage, after enjoying the fine day, to get a couple of bears close to ready for class and tomorrow I'll buckle down to finish the rest of them. As long as Sally doesn't help out by taking an arm or a leg and remodeling it.

Boxed In

With a couple of "what was I thinking" and a lot of "wow, I don't remember that" my treasures are now here with me in Athens. The guest room looks like a moving and storage company but that's not going to last long.

It's great to be back home after being gone for a week. I survived; did better than I thought I would with my deposition; and now I'm ready to move on.

Do I have a plan of attack?--no; is it scary?--yes; is it exciting?--yes. Isn't it appropriate that it's daylight savings time this weekend. Spring forward. That's me!

My Excuse

One of my excuses for sitting in front of the TV is that I make bears at the same time. In fact, it seems that I find it hard not to sew without it; at least the finishing touches. Although I do listen to music at times while making bears. But, that fact should go on another blog. Unfortunately, sitting in front of the TV is also another block to writing. One good thing is I don't get as much TV time as I've been used to. I need to share my time with the likes of Word Girl or Elmo and movie night. I admire, but can't fathom, people who can exist without it.

I just finished reading an article on one of my favorite authors--Mary Kay Andrews--who used to write for the Atlanta Journal Constitution and is now a best-selling author of mysteries. What a perfect inspiration for my just professed journey into the world of writing.

Here goes---It was a dark and stormy night--oh wait, that's Snoopy's novel!

I have lots of notebooks laying around laden with lots of intention AND this trusty computer.
No more excuses!

If

If I were a writer, wouldn't I be blogging everyday? Wouldn't I have books filled with thoughts?

My intention is to join a group of women writers and I need to do an exorcise about my life. Time is closing in and I have the book with helpful suggestions (in fact I have two) from the founder of this group but no words are forthcoming.

I've wanted to be a writer for quite a long time. Maybe that stems from the fact that I admired some of my mother's writings and wanted to emulate her. Maybe not. I've taken a few writing classes and I like to read--criteria for being a writer.

It's just my "monkey mind" as the yoga teacher calls it messing with me. Telling me I don't have time; or what do YOU have to write about; or even listening to past teachers who told me what I wrote was okay but . . . or a boss that told me I wrote like Hitler (this from a clog-wearing lunatic?). All I'd have to do is write a revised version, not take that to heart and give up. I'm sure Hemingway or Austen didn't write a masterpiece the first time.

Let's count up the writing successes. I've edited and wrote articles for two newsletters; had an editorial published; and I've had a story published in an anthology from a creative writing class.

Hey "monkey mind"--take that!!!

Blogging is writing so maybe visiting here everyday and actually entering my thoughts would be a good idea.

Going For The Cure

Complaining never gets you anywhere, except for the road to sadness (for lack of a better word) and more complaining. That said, I'm going to get off that road and look for the positive in things. I'm sure I'll like that way of thinking a lot better. It already makes me happier thinking this way.

I've been altogether too serious most of my life. That's really a bummer. My goal is to laugh more. I may have to pretend for a while since I'm a giggle squelcher but I will get there.

On to my day!

Grateful

I'm very grateful to have a loving home to be living in; grandchildren who are a joy to watch grow up; and co-workers who have become friends. Friday I worked alone from three to four. About halfway through, Tammy called to make sure I was doing okay by myself. I thought that was very nice. Although sometimes I need a little motivation to get myself to work; it's a fun place to be and I'm glad I took the job.

Off to the Races

My happiest moment yesterday was watching Jack and Sally running up and down the hall; laughing hilariously. For a while they were also jumping from couch to couch in the living room with Jack giggling continuously. Kudos to Sally for hardly trying to bite as a form of play. It was heartwarming to watch a boy and his dog having so much fun.

Now I'm on the hunt for today's happy moment. Trying, of course, not to be brought down by a note on my car asking me not to park in a certain place (don't know exactly what it says yet because I haven't seen it--Stacy saw it). Where am I supposed to park when someone else is in the spot directly in front of the house and I can't block the mailbox or the mailman will scream. Across the street is the neighborhood lunatic who I might find sitting naked on my car with a gun if I park there. There's a solution to this dilemma I just haven't figured it out yet.

What's In A Name

I don't think I've ever been thrilled with my name. Lots of people say how pretty it is. I love to tell the story of how I got the name. My mother was drying a frying pan and when she turned it over there on the bottom was the name Laurel. Good thing it wasn't Revere ware or something like that.

I try to make it funny and give it some punch; when people ask me what my name is I say "Laurel, like Laurel and Hardy". I like the laughter it brings. I am also delighted when they say no, like mountain Laurel or something more feminine.

My mother never liked her name. Her mother didn't have a cute story to go with it. In fact, the doctor named my mother. I suppose after six or eight kids out of a total of ten you get name weary.

One reason I've never been excited by my name is it's so serious? for lack of a better word. Although it is rather unique; I haven't run into a lot of people with the same moniker. I guess I'm grateful that I wasn't named something like Buffy or anything equally as cutesy.

Now, due to a typo on my part, I'm called Grammo. Another unique name that I haven't heard anyone else being called. I might have bristled at it in the beginning thinking it was a combination of Grandma and Elmo but I like it.

What Was I Thinking

Comfortable life is great--until, that is, it gets in the way of what's really important. Should I sit in front of the tube making a bear or have a tea party with Josie? I'll be making bears for a long time. Josie may not want to party with me as she gets older. Besides it was a healthy tea party with yogurt. Then she dons her three-cornered hat that she made at school and announces that she's George Washington, head of the Salvation Army.

Another precious moment followed with my playing the keyboard while Josie played her violin. One of my goals for being here in Athens. I didn't (well sort of) care that I wasn't hitting all of the right notes. It was just good to play together. It reminded me that I need to practice more. Practicing, as Stacy says, should be done every day you eat. If that were true as I've been doing it would be a great diet.

Now it's on to practicing Puccini; or, Too Darn Hot.

Hmmm

I guess I could live the rest of my life like this; of course I haven't consulted anyone else about this plan. But then the whole point of making a big change was to do something different--find the real me.

While I'm figuring it out; or implementing decisions it's nice to watch Jack and Josie grow. To hear that the Tooth Fairy now lives in Florida because that's where the quarter she got for her tooth is from; or, that maybe that's her name. Or if you ask Jack if he wants to do something he'll say yeah sure very matter of factly.

The whole point of this post? None really, maybe just to remind myself that I shouldn't get too cozy; I have a life to be lived and things to accomplish.

For Today

For today I'm not going to be the victim; I'm not going to be the poor little abused wife left with nothing struggling to make ends meet.

For today I feel very optimistic about the upcoming year. I intend to practice not being so negative. I'm looking forward to a positive outcome with my divorce. Heck, I haven't been so happy in a long time so what am I griping about?

Horrified!

A few days ago at a Lyric League rehearsal we were asked to introduce ourselves and relate a few interesting facts so that the others could get to know us. I was about the last to speak so I tried to think of funny lines like telling people I had more grandchildren than they did. After the rehearsal Stacy asked me why didn't I mention that I did bears! I didn't, for once, even think about that. Every other get together I've been to that's about the only thing I've identified myself with. Was this a Freudian slip?; what could be really going on? I"m just going to forge ahead and get back to bearing--that's all there is to it!

I was definitely inspired while I was sitting in the gift shop at the Lyndon Arts Center on Saturday as part of my Visual Arts Guild membership. My bears were among all the other works of art.

Enough talk!

J.O.B.

If I had my druthers I would not have a job. I would stay home making bears; interacting with the community; and watching grandchildren. But that's not my real world. In my real world I haven't seemed to muster the discipline to stick to working on bears and even though there are not a lot of bills to be paid, they will be forthcoming I'm sure. Living on fumes isn't quite a comfortable situation but then my former living arrangements weren't that comfortable either.

But that's all too serious. Watching the family dog pretend to "bury" a bone in the couch is much more fun. She has the chewy in the corner of the couch and covering it with air dirt. Now she's captured it again and has whisked it away to greener territory. For all her opportunities she is a joy to see bounding after balls, etc. and it's cute to see how she has to be right in the thick of things.

On to a brighter day!

I'm In Love

This relationship has been going on since I was a young child. I've nurtured it; abandoned it; and, at times, cursed it. But today, I embraced it. I played the keyboard as usual but it was sounding kind of hoarse so I played around with a few buttons; nothing helped. But while looking around all those buttons I saw different settings (I previously ignored them because a piano is supposed to sound like a piano--that's it; besides I didn't want the jazzy undertones which I thought was the only thing it offered). Hmm, let's press the choir button. Hallelujah! I felt like I was accompanying a whole chorus. The next button was the brass button. Another amazing sound!! I'm pumped now with a total feeling of euphoria. Something I didn't feel when I "had" to practice; something I hope this will keep me practicing because I do love music SO much and it makes me feel SO good. Something like being in love.

There is a tiny drawback. Here I am on the computer looking for more sheet music and/or a keyboard of my own when I'm supposed to be doing other things. I vote for a longer day. Oh wait! Maybe I should just use the time I have better. Boy, is that another story!!

Happy New Year!

One thing that hasn't changed is I didn't stay up until midnight; close--11:00 p.m. I don't remember the last time I did. I didn't even wake up with the feeling that this is a new year; time to start over again. Now that I'm writing about it, I am getting that feeling of a year of new possibilities.

Stacy and I are organizing (mostly Stacy) and while it may not last; the feeling of being accomplished is still there. For me, the minute a new project starts organization flies out the window.

Let the new year begin!